


Something Blue

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Drunk Doctor, Marriage, Other, but i don't think it's legal, sort of crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-05 02:09:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1088354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor gets drunk and decides to get married to the sexiest thing around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Blue

**Author's Note:**

> Read the German translation [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1071715) by the lovely lumidaub!

The Doctor bounded through the doors of the TARDIS spinning around with even less grace than usual. It wasn’t surprising really, given that he had recently downed a whole bottle of unexpectedly potent whiskey. 

He stopped spinning and opened his arms wide, looking up. 

“Let’s get married.”

The lack of response was to be expected. There was no one else there. Just a mad man and his box. He seemed to take the silence as a yes, because his face broke into a wide grin and he continued to talk. 

“What do we need? Something old…” 

Spinning was resumed, though this time it was not aimless. He was searching for something suitably old. 

He stopped suddenly as he brought his hands to his head. 

“Stupid! Stupid! Of course it’s you.” He moved to pat the TARDIS console lovingly. 

“Next is… new.” 

The Doctor tugged at his hair, murmuring the word over and over again. “New.”

Head dropped in defeat; he took notice of the red bowtie wrapped around his neck. Reaching down to straighten is he deemed it “relatively new.” 

“Something borrowed… you again. And something blue.”

He looked all around though without the spinning this time. Certainly being sick all over the inside of the TARDIS would put a damper on the wedding festivities. 

“Lots of blue things. Why do they make so many blue things? Do you think the other colours feel a bit sad? Blue is a good colour though. Some of the best things are blue. You’re blue. You’re blue… You’re blue! Oh and sexy of course, but also… very blue!” 

He raised his hand to eye level and with each statement raised another finger.

“Old, you.” One finger.

“New, bowtie.” Two fingers.

“Borrowed, you.” Three fingers. 

“Blue, you.” Somehow at this point he had five fingers raised. 

This went unnoticed because at that moment the Doctor realised something even more important. 

“That’s not right. You’re too many things!” 

He was truly shocked that it had taken him that long to notice. 

“Here, I’ll be the Something Blue.” he said as he picked a small, hopefully unimportant, loose piece up from the console as if that took away the TARDIS’s title of Something Blue. 

Sticking the piece in his jacket pocket he momentarily seemed pleased. Then he started shouting. 

“Oh no! No! NO! I’m not even a _bit_ blue!

He took the piece back out of his pocket and clumsily placed it in the same general area he had found it. 

Burying his head in his hands, the Doctor sank down onto the floor, back resting semi-comfortably against the console. In the silent moments that followed one might have thought he was asleep, rather than just thinking more quietly than usual. Eventually the Doctor’s head left its resting place in his hands. 

“I guess I can be the something old,” he spoke meekly, “but I’m not _that_ old.” 

Suddenly he jumped up and began turning knobs and pulling levers. 

“Let’s get married!” 

**

The TARDIS materialised in the front foyer of a rather large and rather old church. 

“Wait here sexy.” the Doctor whispered, hand brushing fondly against the doors as he stepped into the church. 

People on both sides of the aisle looked on in shock as a strange, dishevelled, and obviously inebriated man stepped right in between the bride and groom and struck up a conversation with the priest. 

“I am in the middle of a wedding ceremony.” The priest was trying, and failing, to keep the annoyance he felt out of his voice. 

“Oh, yes.” The Doctor looked first at the bride, then the groom, “Lovely couple, so sorry. I won’t be a minute.” 

He turned to the room and addressed the people in the pews. 

“Sorry. Sorry.” 

Looking back at the priest he asked, “How do you feel about non-traditional weddings?”

Taking the priest’s silent glare as a “go away now”, the Doctor simply smiled, picked up both wedding rings and turned to leave. Everyone seemed too shocked to do anything about it, but he walked quickly anyway. 

“Sorry again!” he shouted as he reached the door, “Congratulations!” 

**

Back in the TARDIS, the Doctor proudly presented the rings. 

“So,” he began, pacing back and forth, “Rings, but no one to marry us. Bit of a problem. Well, really, I guess. Not so much an issue… Oh, what the hell. I’m the Doctor.”

Turning to face the centre of the room, the Doctor smoothed out his hair and smiled. 

“I, the Doctor, take you, you sexy TARDIS, to be my wife. To travel through wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff and space with. Forever.” 

He slipped the ring on his middle finger. It wasn’t the proper finger, but it would do. At least it would actually stay on this way. 

“And you… the same thing.” 

The ring was even more the wrong size this time. Not sure where exactly to put it, the Doctor simply tossed the ring behind him, content that it was somewhere in the TARDIS. 

“I now pronounce us married.” 

He turned to the nearest wall and planted a rather sloppy kiss on it. 

He had fully intended to continue the kissing; however now that he was happily married, the Doctor realised how truly exhausted he was. 

“Goodnight sexy.” he whispered as he sank to the floor. 

**

The floor of the console room was nowhere near the oddest place he had woken up, but the Doctor did still wonder why he was there. His head hurt. Also his neck. Working his way down his body, he determined that almost every part of his body was at least a little sore. However, he seemed to still be in one piece, so nothing _too_ interesting could have happened. 

Looking down at his left hand he noticed something new. A ring. He took it off and studied it briefly before sticking it back on his finger. 

“I guess I wear a ring now.” he mused to himself, giving a nod of approval, “Rings are cool.”


End file.
